How are you at coping with change? If you're like me, change is fine in theory - it can mean something new and exciting, right? - but in practice it always seems to come when I'm not ready! I'm kinda like: 'I'm happy to be spontaneous, as long as you give me some advance warning...'
So, up until yesterday, we'd been thinking that we might be moving to our new home next Friday... but there have been some issues with the sale and it's been delayed. Also our removal firm no longer has any availability on that date. As a result we have a new proposed moving date of 5 October.
When I heard that we couldn't move yet I was so disappointed! Gutted even... It felt like a punch in the gut that left me winded. I had got so attached to sticking to all our dates and to being in our new house by the beginning of October. Now I would have to tell everyone that our date had changed! This would impact on Dax's accommodation as I'd given notice to move out at the end of this month, and would have implications for work bookings too. All I could see were the negatives and the upset it brought to my plans...
But I soon realised that this was not going to help the situation. No amount of stamping my feet and tantrum throwing (metaphorically speaking!) was going to bring us back to our original move date.
From my practice, I also know that clinging to my upset, rather than processing it and letting it go, could potentially make me ill. From my META-Health work I know that my perception of this situation, if it remains unprocessed and held in my body, will push my body into stress, where it will make adaptations that could later result in dis-ease. (And looking at my vocabulary around the situation - 'gutted', 'punched in the gut' - I didn't much fancy what the consequences would be...)
So I set about making a shift in my perception. I started looking for some positives in the situation, rather than all the negatives - the silver lining within the cloud.
I'm a firm believer in the benefits of a practice of gratitude and I know that I have so much to be thankful for in this process. Counting my blessings, rather than being grumpy about everything that was going 'wrong', really helped me to feel better. I've also noticed that, many times in the past, when things have gone 'pear shaped' and totally off plan, it has opened up amazing new opportunities that I might never otherwise have had.
So, thanks to this change of plan:
I appreciate that writing about this process can make it seem overly simple - but then, it is simple, it's just not always easy. It can be a real challenge to let go of things that we might have hoped for and dreamed of for a long time, or that hold great significance and importance for us. When we get a bit stuck we can sometimes benefit from a helping hand, or a tool, to get us moving forward again. The practice of gratitude is a great first step and I often recommend keeping a gratitude diary and writing in it daily. Another technique that I personally find very helpful, and regularly use with myself and clients, is EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) or 'tapping'. It's really a matter of finding the things that work for you.
If you'd like to have a chat about any of the points I've made here, please get in touch: